Building a Better Bloke

O brother where art thou?

Posted in Death, Philosophy by Sam de Brito on November 18, 2009

By The Ginger

Those of you who read my previous post on this matter may have picked up on a line about my brother’s death earlier this year.

He was 19 years old and killed in a car crash in January, and since then my family and I have spent a lot of time wondering how exactly you adapt to something so fundamentally life-changing.

My own tactic has been to downplay it, joke about it, act tough, because a lot of the time I don’t feel anything – there’s a sense of loss, sure, but it’s distant enough that I can examine it fairly dispassionately (either that or I’m just kidding myself and I’ll be in therapy with rope burns around my neck in 10 years time) … More

Things bogan males will soon like

Posted in Status by Sam de Brito on November 17, 2009

By Things Bogans Like

The select club of refined gentlemen behind the Things Bogans Like blog bring to you a new message: the eight things the bogan male will like, but does not yet realise he’ll like.

Compiled from many hours of inner-urban research at secluded venues that the bogan is not currently familiar with, the list reveals the trends that bogans males will embrace in the near future, and completely ruin.

Twitter
In the past 18 months, the new bogan has belatedly made the switch from MySpace to Facebook as its social networking website of choice. This has caused trendsetters to start making the switch from Facebook over to Twitter. Once the bogan realises that there are celebrities on Twitter, and that no interaction on there is more than 140 characters in length, it will be unable to resist the appeal of broadcasting its every move to its friends via its phone or computer. Even better, the 140 character limit is something that bogans have been training for for years, via generally unintelligible text message abbreviations. The trendsetters, meanwhile, will migrate elsewhere, galled by the flood of tweeted rubbish that the bogan will bring … More

Judgement

Posted in Life skills, Philosophy by Sam de Brito on November 16, 2009

By David Delaney

Something that doing creative work has taught me: you’re about the worst possible judge of your own worth.

You have no idea. You’re prejudiced. All you notice are the mistakes, the things you could have done better.

People don’t always pull off whatever it is they’re trying to achieve. Geniuses are notable because they fail less often than the rest of us, but even geniuses blow it with predictable regularity. And – I’m certain – most real geniuses think of themselves as semi-competent strugglers in their fields … More

Boy or girl?

Posted in Gender by Sam de Brito on November 13, 2009

By David Delaney

I was talking to a girl in a shop recently, and I mentioned my brother hassling me: “You know what siblings are like” I said.

“No” she said. “I’m from China. There’s a one-child policy.”

After I finished slapping myself for not thinking of that possibility and talked my way out of it by asking about cousins (she has many) I started thinking about the fact that she was a “she” and that it was nice that at least one Chinese female baby survived into adulthood.

Like most non-Chinese all I knew about the one-child policy was that it’s supposed to have led to boys vastly outnumbering girls. I wondered if that was actually the case, since I often find that things that “everybody knows” are, in fact, wrong … More

Are my best days behind me?

Posted in Life skills, Philosophy by Sam de Brito on November 12, 2009

By Sam de Brito

At the beginning of the film Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, written by Charlie Kaufman, there’s a scene where the crazed protagonist, Chuck Barris, the creator of the Gong Show talks to himself in his crappy motel room.

“When you’re young,” he says “your potential is infinite. You might do anything, really. You might be great. You might be Einstein. You might be Goethe. Then you get to an age where what you might be gives way to what you have been. You weren’t Einstein. You weren’t anything. That’s a bad moment.”

Hearing those words in a dark cinema was a bad moment for me … More

Change

Posted in Confidence, Life skills, Philosophy, Self esteem by Sam de Brito on November 9, 2009

By Rich Nicol

It occurred to me some time ago that advice is something you ask for, not some thing that you hand out freely whenever any possible opportunity arises.

I used to give out advice freely, whether requested or not. I always thought I was “helping” the other person rather than telling them what to do but this was often not how my assistance was received.

Back then I knew everything, I was always right and people would have a much easier time if they just listened to me and did what I said, when I said and how I said it … More

What’s wrong with this picture?

Posted in Dating, Life skills, Relationships by Sam de Brito on November 7, 2009

By Sam de Brito

As a graphic visual extension of my post on All Men Are Liars on Friday, check this out.

A car crash waiting to happen.

Can I stay faithful to one woman forever?

Posted in Cheating, Philosophy, Relationships, Women by Sam de Brito on November 5, 2009

By Sam de Brito

Is it possible for the average male, short of chemical castration, to keep his spanner in his strides for the duration?

The short answer, I believe is yes. The longer answer: how?

The only blokes who really qualify to answer this question are either dead or very close to it.

All the guys I know who answer “yes” or “without a doubt” are in their 20’s, 30’s or 40’s. That’s the relationship equivalent of cocky adventure tourists doing karate kicks to warm up in Everest base camp. You just know some cabanossi-skinned Sherpa’s gonna be picking up the guy’s toes on the walk back down the mountain … More

Male violence

Posted in Violence by Sam de Brito on November 5, 2009

By David Delaney

We’ve all heard the rants before, many times.

Men make wars. Men rape. Men are violent. Well, that’s pretty insulting to the many, many males who have fought for equality between the sexes. Or the males who have fought against various other forms of oppression and injustice, and the males who continue to do so.

Don’t those guys count? Apparently not … More

Where do we stand with the one night stand?

Posted in Relationships, Women by Sam de Brito on November 3, 2009

By Sam de Brito

A buddy of mine I’ll call Jack, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Chesty Bond, was set up with a girl some years ago.

The night went splendidly. The girl, Penny, approved of Jack and certainly seemed up for a, ahh, deepening of intimacies back at his place.

Jack? Well, he’s an old-fashioned type when sober, and was hoping for lightening bolts. By 1am, when he’d felt no electricity, he decided to err on the side of gallantry and go home alone … More

Egghead wanted

Posted in Housekeeping by Sam de Brito on November 3, 2009

As you can see, this blog’s pretty low-fi.

As we gather readers, it’d be nice to brighten the place up a bit, throw a header on top of the blog, perhaps some other features like an “email this post” button.

But I am clueless. I know I need a WordPress upgrade package, but my css skills are non existent. If anyone wants to help out and has some mad skilz, drop me a line and you can bathe in the glory of being our tech guru.

Things Emigrating Taught Me About Picking-up Women

Posted in Confidence, Dating, Women by Sam de Brito on November 3, 2009

By Richard Bourne

A few years ago, when I was 30, I moved here from England.

I put my life in a couple of bags, bought a one way ticket (and a visa, don’t worry) and got on a plane.

Emigrating taught me a lot about myself, and a few things about other people and the world we live in.

Here are three things I learned about picking up women and I share them with you on the condition you promise not to use them to steal any of the ones I want … More

On the slide

Posted in Relationships by Sam de Brito on November 2, 2009

Last week El Guapo gave us five signs your relationship is on the rise, this week, some indicators it could be going the other way.

ONE: When either of you express your emotions to the dog or the cat or the birds more freely and frequently than you do to each other.

There’s no more humiliating feeling than watching your partner barely acknowledge your presence when they arrive home from work, but jump on the floor and play with the pet for half an hour, telling them in a stupid voice “do you know how much your Mummy/Daddy lurvs you? What would Mummy/Daddy do if anything happened to their byootiful puppy/pussy Rover/Fido/Kitty/Fluffy”? … More

When Barbie is a prawn

Posted in Women by Sam de Brito on October 29, 2009

By Sam de Brito

How many times have you experienced this scenario?

Your friend is dating a girl with the personality of Katherine Knight, who bears a striking resemblance to Wilson Tuckey but because she’s endowed with a porn star hard-body, all your buddy has to say is: “Mate, have you seen the rig?” and there’s nods of understanding from all your friends.

Many men will overlook a woman’s mental instability, body odour, absence of a sense of humour, absence of intelligence, even absence of teeth — if she has an incredible figure.

Ironically, it was a woman who I first heard term these females “prawns” because “you can chuck away the head and just keep the body” … More

Four eyes

Posted in Confidence, Health by Sam de Brito on October 29, 2009

By David Delaney

I have very bad eyesight, so I wear glasses. I needed to qualify the second statement with the first, because there are people who wear glasses by choice.

Glasses supposedly make a person look “intelligent” so you get the occasional bimbo/meathead affecting them in an effort to look like they’ve read books without pictures in them. That annoys me a little, because it’s a choice I don’t have.

I’m not complaining, having met a few blind people over the years. But I’ve also knocked the glasses off my face on occasion, and it’s really humiliating to have to get down on my knees and feel around for them because I can’t see well enough to find them visually.

For a seriously myopic person, it’s scary how helpless you become without your glasses … More

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The three Ps

Posted in Uncategorized by Sam de Brito on October 28, 2009

Last week Timothy J Graham gave us his breakdown on the basics of Christianity – dogma and ceremony aside. This week he expands on the final point of his post – the three Ps – and why he reckons Jesus banged on about them so much.

Possessions
At the heart of the gospel is the message that the antidote to confusion and paralysis is always a return to simplicity; returning to a life free from the complexities that naturally arise from having money and possessions.

One thing was clear from Jesus’ teachings: money and the gospel don’t mix. This issue is probably the biggest on Jesus’ agenda, and yet modern Christians seem to have not only missed it, but gone in the opposite direction … More

Funerals suck

Posted in Death by Sam de Brito on October 26, 2009

By The Ginger

They can be emotional, solemn and, when the fans inside the church are broken, inconveniently hot. Some people find them comforting and uplifting. However, I can’t think of a single person who would rather attend a funeral than not have to.

Sadly, they’re also one of few certainties in this world (the old idiom included taxes as well, but Paul Hogan has pretty much up-ended that one), and for men, they present a boiling stew of unfamiliar emotion.

Unfamiliar, not because we haven’t felt it before, but because a lot of us shy away from it like Jarryd Hayne dodging a tackle, and so we never have to face up to what we feel. Funerals do not give you that option … More

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On the rise

Posted in Relationships by Sam de Brito on October 25, 2009

By El Guapo

There are obvious signs things are going well in a relationship: you get butterflies when you see each other, you can’t keep your hands to yourself, you lose track of time when you’re together, and you think every love song on the radio was written about you.

There’s equally obvious signs things are going poorly in your relationship, most notably, you argue all the bloody time. And usually over the smallest crap.

But there are also subtle signs that can be just as meaningful. After all, they say it’s the little things that count and they are right … More

Voice of the frustrated consumer

Posted in Anger, Finance by Sam de Brito on October 24, 2009

This guy is classic. Nuts but he knows his stuff.

To deal or not to deal? Part 3

Posted in drugs, Entrepreneurship by Sam de Brito on October 22, 2009

By The Brute

The next month went agonizingly slow; the plants reached their zenith at roughly nine feet and were as wide as an outhouse. I knew the things were worth a small fortune and I became increasingly more paranoid about them being stolen as harvest approached.

The last two weeks I pitched a tent in the backyard and slept in there with a BB gun, Samurai sword and my 75kg dog. I gave my old man some shitty excuse that he accepted without question

The day of harvest was a massive job as I followed my ‘Pot Bible’ and took the big heads off first and let them continue to grow. It was called a “double harvest” and it worked well … More

Group action

Posted in Confidence, Depression, Male bonding by Sam de Brito on October 22, 2009

By Leon N

What’s this stuff about men’s groups?

Some of you might learned about them via the excellent film released last year, whilst others may suspect they are an urban myth, or just some gay or feminist fantasy.

The fact is that men’s groups exist all over the country, and if you’re lucky there’s probably one near you.

Social psychologists in Australia have studied the evolution of men’s groups over the past 20 years and recognise them as powerful mediums for enlightenment and personal growth … More

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