Building a Better Bloke

Can you learn how to talk to women?

Posted in Confidence, Female friends, Gender, Life skills, Relationships, Self esteem, Women by Sam de Brito on February 23, 2010

The short answer to that question is “yes”. The long answer is “are you ready?”

That’s all it really comes down: whether you’re prepared to put aside your excuses and get down to the business of building a persona and life that is attractive to the opposite sex.

The first Building a Better Bloke seminar of the year will be held Sunday, March 7, 2010 and places are filling fast. More than 120 guys have attended the seminar now and the feedback has been incredibly positive: take a look here, if you’d like to read some recent comments about what goes down on the day … More


Posted in Confidence, Life skills, Philosophy, Self esteem by Sam de Brito on November 9, 2009

By Rich Nicol

It occurred to me some time ago that advice is something you ask for, not some thing that you hand out freely whenever any possible opportunity arises.

I used to give out advice freely, whether requested or not. I always thought I was “helping” the other person rather than telling them what to do but this was often not how my assistance was received.

Back then I knew everything, I was always right and people would have a much easier time if they just listened to me and did what I said, when I said and how I said it … More

Things Emigrating Taught Me About Picking-up Women

Posted in Confidence, Dating, Women by Sam de Brito on November 3, 2009

By Richard Bourne

A few years ago, when I was 30, I moved here from England.

I put my life in a couple of bags, bought a one way ticket (and a visa, don’t worry) and got on a plane.

Emigrating taught me a lot about myself, and a few things about other people and the world we live in.

Here are three things I learned about picking up women and I share them with you on the condition you promise not to use them to steal any of the ones I want … More

Four eyes

Posted in Confidence, Health by Sam de Brito on October 29, 2009

By David Delaney

I have very bad eyesight, so I wear glasses. I needed to qualify the second statement with the first, because there are people who wear glasses by choice.

Glasses supposedly make a person look “intelligent” so you get the occasional bimbo/meathead affecting them in an effort to look like they’ve read books without pictures in them. That annoys me a little, because it’s a choice I don’t have.

I’m not complaining, having met a few blind people over the years. But I’ve also knocked the glasses off my face on occasion, and it’s really humiliating to have to get down on my knees and feel around for them because I can’t see well enough to find them visually.

For a seriously myopic person, it’s scary how helpless you become without your glasses … More

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Group action

Posted in Confidence, Depression, Male bonding by Sam de Brito on October 22, 2009

By Leon N

What’s this stuff about men’s groups?

Some of you might learned about them via the excellent film released last year, whilst others may suspect they are an urban myth, or just some gay or feminist fantasy.

The fact is that men’s groups exist all over the country, and if you’re lucky there’s probably one near you.

Social psychologists in Australia have studied the evolution of men’s groups over the past 20 years and recognise them as powerful mediums for enlightenment and personal growth … More

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Tick tock

Posted in Confidence, Housekeeping, Life skills, Self esteem by Sam de Brito on October 21, 2009

A quick reminder that the next Building a Better Bloke seminar will be held Sunday, November 1, 2009 in Surry Hills, Sydney.

More than 100 guys have attended the seminar now and the feedback has been incredibly positive: take a look here, if you’d like to read some recent comments about what goes down on the day.

I spent the first thirty years of my life clueless as to what I was doing wrong (and right) with girls. About 2001, I stumbled across a couple of websites and realised there was a massive amount of literature out there that could help guys like me.

Since then, I’ve either read, listened, watched, researched, tried or written about most of the dating material out there – certainly more than any other Australian writer has in the public space … More

Shy guy

Posted in Confidence by Sam de Brito on October 15, 2009

By David Delaney

I am shy, but I don’t look it.

I have had conversations with people where I’ve claimed to be shy and been told “no you’re not.” Admittedly I’m not as shy as I once was, and I’ve regularly done things that are seen as “not shy” behaviour.

But I’ve also read about (and personally known) a lot of performers – musicians, actors, comedians – who are shy. People who get up in front of a crowd and perform are usually judged to be egomaniacs who thrive on attention. It’s true, in some cases, but I’ve found that many of the best performers aren’t like that at all.

Often they’re intensely self-critical. They’re not driven by dreams of glory but by aspirations to adequacy. If a successful performer claims to be shy in real life, there’s a good chance they’re being honest, not modest … More