Building a Better Bloke

About

A man barely alive. Drinking too much. Too scared to talk to women, to live outside a PlayStation universe. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to Build a Better Bloke. You can be that man. Better than you were before. Better, stronger, faster …

This is a place for discussion of many issues and it’s my intention that mine will not be the only voice heard here. If you have something to say, send me a submission to samdebrito@gmail.com.

If they’re shit, plagarised, poorly spelled, lame, regurgitated or repetitive, they won’t get run. I will not be paying for these posts, but hopefully, they will give you a chance to expose your work to an audience larger than you’d encounter otherwise.

One Response

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  1. Pauly Survivor-Adviser said, on February 15, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    I have met many hundreds of men in my work as a financial adviser: from the mail-room to the boardroom. They all have different views on life, what they hope for, where they find themselves in their lives and what they value. But there is one thing they never talk about…themselves and what they need.

    Usually the conversation is totally coherent when it comes to football, cricket, partners, children, cars, houses, jobs and even money but they seem to put themselves LAST in describing their ambitions and desires for their own lives.

    Society has several injunctions against men asking for what they want and need;
    1) It looks ‘weak’ (or makes you vulnerable),
    2) It’s selfish (put others before yourself), especially for men in relationships or with children.
    3) It looks like you are a failure to have a need for anything, in particular, admitting that to another man.

    In my experience, the recognition of a man’s own needs is utterly crucial to building better men.

    I’ve seen men go to extremes of behaviour to avoid the conversation with a loved one about what they want and I have seen the following examples of “man-moves” in order to get what they want.

    The guy who removes himself from his family, indifferently staying out ’til all hours with his mates. This is the “stealing my time move” and is childish at best – belligerently, passive-aggressive is another description.

    A guy who, without partner consultation, extends the family lines of credit to breaking point in order to purchase a (fill in blank) car, motorbike, caravan, boat, recording studio, etc. The “I’ve always wanted one” purchase as an assertion of ‘who’s in control here’ relationship principles.

    A married businessman who ensconced a mistress in a flat near work so he could see her at lunchtimes away from prying eyes. When quizzed, he said it was a way of getting a ‘bit on the side’ without the downside of divorce. Also, the unit was a good investment. Clearly a cry for more intimacy, sex and excitement but also a chicken-shit way of avoiding difficult conversations with the wife, and/or concern about being perceived as failing as a partner in his spouse’s or other’s eyes.

    There are others and this is a just a short-list. By the way, here’s a tip for telling whether the next “man-move” you make is a good one – Imagine everyone you know will see what you are going to do on the front page of the paper or internetty site thingy. If you’re not proud, don’t do it!

    I venture this as a discussion line because it over-laps many post subjects to the left here. Also I’ve been through the mill, ’round the block, down and out, poor and well-off and finally recently realised that the only question I had never asked myself was “What do I want?” This is a valuable question every man should ask themselves in the cold-hard light of day.

    In order to build better men it’s an important first step. Discuss…


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