Building a Better Bloke

The man with no balls

Posted in Uncategorized by Sam de Brito on November 20, 2009

This gentlemen, is what happens to men who abdicate their maleness: Anthony Sherna.

“For almost 20 years he submitted in order to keep the peace. When she demanded he change his surname to prove he loved her, he agreed.

“When she insisted he not see his friends or family, he complied. When she taunted him by resuming an affair with a former boyfriend and suggested he ”grow some balls”, he swallowed the insults.

“When she said he was too smelly to use the toilet at home, he restrained himself until he arrived at work. When she refused to let him sleep in their double bed, he dossed down in the spare room on a camp stretcher.

“He was sole breadwinner but she rationed his cigarettes – just 12 each day – and controlled their money. Each week after withdrawing the housekeeping money he handed over the cash, his ATM card and receipts. “

Dear God. I want to feel sorry for this guy, but in the end, this is just pathetic. Imagine what’s going to happen to him in prison … your thoughts?

15 Responses

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  1. Ash Simmonds said, on November 20, 2009 at 9:03 am

    He’s going to a better place.

  2. Slim Jim said, on November 20, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    He’ll be in minimum security with the white collar crims. If he’s put up with this for twenty years he’s hardly a flight risk.

  3. Mike said, on November 20, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    Does anyone else think that 10 years is abit stiff (relative to context)?

    Reverse the sex-roles around (ie. the wife killing the husband because of the domineering), and she’ll probably get 5years?

  4. Sam de Brito said, on November 20, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    He should get life for being such a simp.

  5. Mike said, on November 20, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Don’t get me wrong – i’m suprised that he isn’t marching to the women’s prison. But 10years for being a skirt, hopefully prison would harden him up.

  6. Richard said, on November 20, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    He should have gotten help. We should reach out to other brothers in the same situation. Some sort of Harden The Fuck Up Club.

  7. TiMMaY said, on November 22, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    Interesting about the harden the fuck up comments….

    If the roles were reversed and it was a woman getting dominated by a man, would anybody be thinking that she should harden the fuck up?

    Domestic violence is wrong and never the victim’s fault, even if that victim is a man…

  8. Adam said, on November 23, 2009 at 9:05 am

    Maybe it’s not his fault entirely but yes, when I hear about a woman in a long-term abusive relationship, I do feel like slapping her (metaphorically speaking) and asking her why the hell she doesn’t just walk out.

  9. Bender said, on November 25, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    I just feel sorry for him

  10. C.S. Magor said, on December 1, 2009 at 11:50 am

    In my book anyone who tolerates domestic violence has a few screws loose. Male or female, I think the mentality of sufferers is fairly similar. They allow themselves to be dominated and define their relationship by the way that their significant other acts when he/she is not violent.

    Every abuser that I have ever met has seemed like an emotional child. They don’t act out for reasons that would drive almost anyone to violence, they do it over petty stuff. He/she forgot to record my favorite TV program; didn’t go shopping; didn’t answer the phone quickly enough.

    In most cases I think the root of the violence is an inflated sense of entitlement and a lack of respect for the victim on the part of the abuser. By staying in such relationships victims are, in a sense, giving tacit approval through their inaction. They don’t want to be abused, but they submit to it and to a violent spouse that is the same thing.

    It is rare to see women inflict physical violence on their partners, but I think that when it comes to relationships they can be just as abusive as men – and psychological abuse can have just as great an effect. Some would argue that it is a lesser evil than beating someone that you love into pulp, but the effects can be just as dreadful.

    • never mind said, on December 1, 2009 at 2:54 pm

      “allowing themselves to be dominated” – I think it is a bit more complicated than that.

      On the contrary, I think psychological abuse is just as, if not more damaging. It can leave permanent mental shackles, that robs freedom and quality of life, even if the abuser is long gone from that person’s life.

      • C.S. Magor said, on December 1, 2009 at 3:28 pm

        @never mind – “‘allowing themselves to be dominated’ – I think it is a bit more complicated than that.”

        On the contrary – it is as simple as that. There is no point in seeing domestic violence in shades of gray; you either accept it or you don’t. It gets complicated when kids are involved, because it is a lot harder for them to escape from abusive parents than it is for someone to leave an abusive partner.

        What it boils down to is whether a person feels that they deserve more than being used as a human punching bag. In all likelihood if someone sees fit to kick the shit out of someone that they care about once, then they will do it again and again and again. You can sit on a couch and talk about feelings but the sort of change that is needed to correct that sort of behavior can take years to develop, if it happens at all. There is only one way to put a stop to the abuse and that is to get out of the relationship. Not to do so is to allow oneself to be dominated.

      • never mind said, on December 1, 2009 at 4:59 pm

        Obviously you have never been in an abusive situation. That’s a good thing. I think if the abuse started out as instantly being a punching bag, then yes it would be easy to walk away, right away. It would be easy to identify that it was wrong if the abuse happened from the beginning in such an outright manner. However, abusers have this insidious way of gradually wearing down your self esteem, while gradually upping the ante, and dependence. It’s all gradual so you really don’t know what is right or wrong anymore, what is your fault or not, which way is up, or the way out… the way out is distance by the way. If they are fortunate enough to have distance and time to clear their thoughts, no longer being told what to think… this is the beginning of the road to freedom.

        No not simple – it’s a case of having to walk in another person’s shoes, to fully understand that it’s not simple. But that’s just my opinion.

  11. Whoa. said, on December 15, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    A million years late, but I should point out that statistically, the most dangerous time for a person in a violent relationship is when they leave.

    That is when they are killed.

    That is when murder-suicides happen. That is when the kids are killed.

    If you look closely at domestic homicide cases you will see that they most often occur after victims leave their abusive partners.

    These are the facts and that is why you should never judge someone for staying in that relationship. Sometimes, it’s safer to stay.

  12. Phillip P said, on March 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    People end up in these situations when they don’t say enoughs enough from the beginning. He probably felt that she’s caused too much damage, even though could of stopped her. So he decided to off her now he’s fucked up a river.

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