Building a Better Bloke

When Barbie is a prawn

Posted in Women by Sam de Brito on October 29, 2009

By Sam de Brito

How many times have you experienced this scenario?

Your friend is dating a girl with the personality of Katherine Knight, who bears a striking resemblance to Wilson Tuckey but because she’s endowed with a porn star hard-body, all your buddy has to say is: “Mate, have you seen the rig?” and there’s nods of understanding from all your friends.

Many men will overlook a woman’s mental instability, body odour, absence of a sense of humour, absence of intelligence, even absence of teeth — if she has an incredible figure.

Ironically, it was a woman who I first heard term these females “prawns” because “you can chuck away the head and just keep the body” …

It’s safe to say I’ll receive comments today calling me sexist, superficial and misogynist for bringing up this topic but the pejorative “prawn” is used by just as many women to describe blokes with hot bods and heads like dropped pies.

The British rock band, The Monks, even had a surprise hit in the late 70’s with their song ‘Nice Legs Shame About The Face‘ that describes this very phenomena.

But I digress.

Men are obsessed with bodies and, thanks to the influences of pornography and advertising, there’s more than enough fodder to convince us that, if a woman is not sporting a tight rig, she’s somehow less desirable.

I’m not immune to this syndrome and admit that all of my serious relationships have been with women who made me sigh when they disrobed.

(And isn’t this a make or break moment? Undressing a women is like unwrapping a Christmas present from your Grandma. If you don’t like what you get, you just have to smile and pretend to be excited for the next two hours).

No doubt many of you will cite other eras or cultures that prize a Rubenesque figure in womankind, which merely serves to prove how powerful a lifetime of media imagery can be.

Blame Saatchi & Saatchi, not me.

You could speculate that men are attracted to women with athletic bodies because they subconsciously feel they will produce healthy, desirable offspring with these females.

However, this evolutionary view doesn’t explain why guys still react like prison inmates when the woman has obvious dental, mental or facial problems — two of which would be a huge disadvantage to surviving on the Savannah.

Some years ago, I was being set-up with a girl who was a pole-dancing instructor and I asked her match-making friend: “what’s the rig like?”

You’d have thought I’d dismembered a harp seal in front of her. When I began teasing her about it, she finally admitted that yes, her pole-dancing pal had asked the same question about me and had an affection for well-muscled blokes.

So we’re not the only ones that do it.

I once asked my dear friend, Lize, what she would prefer in a man.

“Would you go a rough head with a good body or a fat body with a beautiful face?” I said.

“That’s easy,” she replied, “it’s the face you look at 90 percent of the time.”

I reckon if you asked most men the same question, they’d go the prawn.


6 Responses

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  1. Ash Simmonds said, on October 29, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    “…all of my serious relationships have been with women who made me sigh when they disrobed…”

    Not a shallow a sentiment in the scheme of things. A “serious” relationship is bound by the merits of the package of a partner as a whole, everyone has various defects when the beady judgemental eyes of another is upon you – the best we can do is try to align ourselves with someone whom we share a similar level of defect-lessness in each other’s eyes.

    In the end we all part ways for various reasons – many of them obfuscated by a euphemism – but the reasons we get together in the first place is a very short list.

    The reasons we continue to stay together to the point of “serious” when it’s boiled down should simply be because they are someone who seriously ticks your boxes.

    If she’s got a beard it’s probably ok to change her facebook status from in a relationship to friend.

  2. Perplexio said, on November 3, 2009 at 4:20 am

    They call those sheilas “Butterfaces” here (as in “I love everything about her ‘but her face'”).

    Incidentally “Butterfaces” ranks in my top 2 of possible singles bar names… Coming in just under “The Bicycle Rack.”

  3. Loz said, on November 5, 2009 at 10:44 pm

    I will never understand the male and female obsession with the search for the ‘perfect’…whatever (body/face/job).

    Think about all the ace people you miss out on because of your short sightedness! (no pun intended)

  4. Ben said, on November 10, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    Especially all the people who use the word “ace”!

  5. KISS said, on November 10, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    “Undressing a women is like unwrapping a Christmas present from your Grandma”

    ..yeah but so’s undressing a man for the first time, and lets face it, we girls are far more likely to be disappointed, what with the much lower average level of grooming that most guys believe they can still get away with. All that yukky body hair, bad unmoistured skin like sandpaper, and curves become a woman, but never a man. Fat always looks worse on a man than it does on a woman. And then theres the first sighting of the you know what, and thats where we girls *really* get judgemental.

    So you can call us butterface or prawn to your hearts content, but just remember how judgemental we girls really are (even if we try to sooth your fragile ego) when *your* clothes come off.

    Women are heaps shallow about mens looks and getting shallower more and more these days. Off to the gym and beauty salon- all of you!!!

  6. Amanda said, on July 9, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    What can I say,

    There is a reason that about 95% of sex toys are made for women and not for men…….as its men who need the extra help. Why do you think they play on womens insecurities with this atittude, its a control mechanism, to keep women from realising just how little they themselves have to offer.

    I mean think about it, this attitude toward women, the clear inabilities in the bedroom that dont quite stack up (the number of sex toy for women prove that) and the fact that its always the fat ugly bald blokes with small willies that end up actually having this attitude.

    They are the same guys you will find telling good looking girls that good looking guys are all evil lying cheats…………..when what, manipulative guys like them are any better who are just as superficial for chasing women out of their league every time?

    Yup……………..I can see why so many women are giving up men………..not a whole lot coming to the girls side is there when you read how men think……… we have always gone on the belief, totaly misguided of course…..that there were nice guys out there…..but if apparently, as guys like this would have us believe, all men think this way……..then crap………every man really should be very upfront and let everyone know much clearer than they do so then they would never ever get laid……..then the problem wouldnt be there anymore…………as women would be happy with their little battery powered friend……….and men would be all alone.

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